bitchy "friends" and blowjobs

Haha so the name of the post was just to get your attention but I was thinking of a friend that I had from back in the 8th grade and how our friendship deteriorated. Well before we even started going to skl together in 8th grade she was my neighbour for years. Friend who shall not be named {but let's just call her fat cow for the fun of it}was always really chubby until 10th or 11th grade when she got all health conscious and crazy. She started yelling at me like she was a big know-it-all telling me what to eat and when to eat it. What was healthy and what wasn't. Ugh I was just like bitch shut up. Anyways she went all healthy crazy and lost a bunch of weight by the summer before we were seniors and then she let all her skinny go to her head. I guess it's cuz she never got any guys when she was an oompa loompa she tried to make up for lost time? Whatever. She became a whore. Like going down on random dude we just met a party kinda whore. YEAH! Not once, not twice, but... I don't even know how many times lol. Anyhoo, homegirl stopped hanging out with our group as much and started acting all bitch. THEN my friend (who was also supposed to be fat cow's friend at the time) had a boyfriend who fat cow decided to sleep with. His girlfriend hadn't even slept with him yet. But then fat cow said she should have known how to please him herself. I KNOW RIGHT!! It's like when you're watching tv and u can't understand why the mistress thinks she's right! {No disrespect to the mistresses of the world} actuallyDISRESPECT
... So back to the story. She slept with my friend's bf and after a while we forgave her i guess. Well not completely but she ate lunch with us sometimes. Cut to the chase, this summer I saw a pic of her on fb and she was HUGE. I mean BIGG. and i thought nah it's my imagination.


Then I saw her in person HAHAHA She's an orca whale. She gained back all the weight and then some. And I know I sound like a vindictive bitch right now but I can't help it. hahah


What goes around comes around bitch....
Lesson of the day? Well I dont really know but it's one hell of a story
xoxo skinnies

So, it's official I'm a fuck up

I don't know why I always do this. I always say "I'm definitely gonna start a fast tomorrow" then I gorge myself with food so that I can have one last day of freedom in preparation for my fasting. Except, the next day I do the same thing. lol. WHERE DID ALL MY DISCIPLINE GO??? Jeez I always do this. I mean most times I end up purging but I hate to purge. Then the times that I don't purge I just end up sitting wallowing in my guilt and shame. Ugh I irritate myself. I did the same "I'll eat today cuz I'm starting a fast tomorrow thing" like every day this week. lol pathetic i know. But it's like I can't help it. Well I can I'm just not trying. And I don't know why not I mean I'm at my fattest right now. I need to buckle down and get serious like Lindsay Lohan is serious about her drugs. I feel so gross right now too cuz my dad brought home Burger King for me tonight. And I wasn't even hungry but I still ate it. Cuz that's just the kinda shamu I am. I didn't eat all though. I threw half of my whopper out. {yes my dad bought me a DOUBLE WHOPPER} and half of my fries out. And I drank the soda. I think I just lost discipline cuz I dont wear my rubber band on my wrist anymore. I know it sounds silly but you see I have these little rituals that keep me from eating. Like snapping my wrist with a rubber band whenevr I feel hungry or pinching my thighs. I have a BUNCH of stuff. I mean not so much that I look like this

cuz that's just dumb. After a while I would just be like fuck this shit and eat a sandwich

I think Ill devote a whole page to my little habits and rituals, tomorrow or some other day.


But they seriously do help though. Like last summer (09) I fasted for like a month and I lost 40 pounds {that's like an olsen twin fyi}.. well maybe it wasnt a month and I think it was just a month cuz it seemed so friggin long. After the first 3 days though, it wasn't bad. I just had hunger pains. But it wasn't like OMG CALL THE POPE I'M IN PAIN. It was like "ugh pain" moves on with life. and i think it's because of my friends on prettythin too. That is THE most awesome pro ana site ever. everybody's so nice and warm and cuddly like what I imagine Kirsty Alley's bellybutton to be like... without the moisture. Gosh I need to stop being mean ot Kirstie Alley I dunno why she's just been popping up in my head so much.


Anyways back to the story, yeah I had so much support and ana buddies who were fasting with me too. But then I stopped cuz I was gettin too confident. I was like HELL YEAH I'M A SKINNY BITCH KISS MY ASS then I gained back like 20 cuz I ate a boat load of shit. Since then I haven't tried as hard. Im such a pathetic case lol. But i promise from tomorrow I'll try my hardest cuz I have a new prettythin profile :) u kno just hintin if u guys wanna add me. haha ok Im done. Ill be sure to post tomorrow and let u guys know how Im doin.


Ciao
Stay skinny bitches