2 pounds!

I love that feeling. The feeling I get when I wake up in the morning and run to the scale to see I've lost weight.. Today I got that feeling :) 2 pounds. I'm SO happy I didn't give in to all that greasy temptation last night. *pats self on shoulder*... The thing is the feeling only lasts for a split second. Then I remember that Im still a fat ass. It just motivates me though, to keep going, so everyday I could see the numbers on the scale go down and down and down..

But this 5g thing is working so far. So I hope I get to my GW1 by the 31st. Halloween. Yuck another hurdle for me to jump over with my fat ass. My house is always FILLED with candy and chocolate and sweet demon treats.. Last year was an epic disaster. I thing I must have eaten about 5 pounds of candy and chocolate. I purged after but it was soo hard so I gave up and went to bed wallowing in my fat.

Whatever. This year I'm gonna try to keep my skinny girl blinders on and see the light at the end of the tunnel.

So far today I've had 3.5 grams of fat so far. So my allowance is 1.5... I'll save that for tonight when I feel all cravey.. Oh also I posted a new diet page.. I know not everyone is ana/mia. Some people wanna lose weight healthily. Not me but some people. So I posted a diet plan my nutritionist gave me that is supposed to keep you at a healthy weight. Or help you lose weight at a healthy rate if you're overweight. It does actually work but it's so much to eat I couldn't do it.. I would end up buying the stuff and throwing it out. Or purging :/ man i purge a lot. Anyways u can check that out.

Anyways this post was supposed to be about what happened last night. I always ramble so much. Anywho my mom came home last night with her cholesterol goodie bag and lemme just say the smell coming from a piping hot pizza when you've eaten a freakin apple, it makes u wanna slap ur mama. but I wanna slap my mom a lot of the time. Anyways I got on PT and started asking people for advice because I was pretty sure I was gonna go binge crazy.. But I didn't. I just kept snapping my wrist with my rubber band and I posted a bajillion thinspo pics. Looking at millions of skinny girls got my head back in the right place.

Right enough to cook. Now I don't mean to toot my own horn but I am an amazing cook. I've been doing it  for the past 9 years. And I cook to order. So yeah, Im pretty good. I dunno why but cooking greasy fattening artery clogging food for others and not eating it always makes me feel so good. Watching them all eating eat, knowing how much oil and grease I made everything with. By the time I had finished cooking I wasn't even really tempted to eat any of the disgusting meatballs I had made. Just looking at them reminds me of cellulite lol... It actually looks pretty disgusting when I think about it.. Or I make myself think it's disgusting. Whatever it helps.

Haha probably thinkin wtf why is she taking pics of her meatballs. Bleh gross. Lol looking at food helps me curb cravings lol I know weird. I actually watch the food network 50% of the time. It's the scent of thing that gets me all crazy..

But Im off to go walking now :)
x